Wednesday, June 23, 2010

losing a dog is never easy

"There's just something about dogs that makes you feel good. You come home; they're thrilled to see you. They're good for the ego."

-Janet Schulman

I'll admit it, I'm a total animal lover and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Right in the middle of my crazy, hectic, chaotic life (yes, all three of those adjectives describe my life), my dog got sick. Poor thing wasn't eating right, and was having problems going to the... err.. using the... GRASS! We had made our assumptions and thought it was just constipation! NO BIG DEAL, we'll take him to the vet and gethim medicine tomorrow!........

Well, a few weeks passed and he STILL wasn't doing good, and had lost a noticeable amount of weight. So finally we took him to the vet. (I really hate going to the vet, it seems like no matter how good of health your dog is in, there's always some randomlife threatening disease he/she has UNLESS you pay $9,000.00 and then there's a chance he/she might possibly, could very well be saved. It's ridiculous!) $600.00 and some ex-rays later, the vet comes in and tells us she's 95% sure my dog has cancer of the kidneys. Turns out his kidneys were swollen to DOUBLE the size of a normal dog's kidneys, therefore pushing on his colon making him feel the urge to push. So we basically waited it out, forced him to eat whole chicken breast and rice, and just babied the living crap out of him.

we finally came to the realization that he was having more bad days than good, and he just wasn't feeling good at all. At first when we found out he was sick, he didn't act sick. It was almost as if he was trying to NOT act sick. I could tell he was like, "OH DEAR LORD, PLEASE OWNERS, DON'T PUT ME TO SLEEP! IM GOOD! SEE I STILL RUN AT THE PARK!", and a month later he was like, "PLEASE, OWNERS, DON'T MAKE ME GET OFF MY NICE BED EVEN THOUGH IT'S COVERED IN URINE BECAUSE MY KIDNEYS ARE BLEEDING INTERNALLY". oh my poor poor baby! His last days were not the best... there was a lot of urine leakage.

$500.00 worth of whole white chicken breast, an entire urine-soaked couch, and an entire prescription of dog pain medicine later, we realized that the time had come. The time that all dog owners/lovers DREAD from the very first day they lay eyes on their precious wagging puppy. The day to put your loved dog to rest.

when the day came, I couldn't look my dog in theeye. I felt as if I was betraying him. I washed him and put his leash on him and told him, "OH YOU'RE A GOOD BOY AND I'LL MISS YOU!" as I walked inside and sat on our new couch, I watched out the window and saw my big grown up brothers and my older-middle aged dad loading our family dog in the bag of the truck, wiping their tears. I could see that the dog knew the end was near, and he was tired in his eyes. But the main thing I noticed is that my brothers were just kids when we got our dog, and my dad was a young, middle aged man. It wasn't so much that I was destroyed by putting our dog to sleep, but that I realized all things come to an end. It was almost like that chapter in my life had closed. I used to paint that dogs toenails hot pink, and my brother would get so mad because he wanted a "COOL PIT BULL" and "COOL PIT BULLS" do not have hot pink toenails! I remember him pulling my brother down the street on the skateboard. I remember getting scared at night and bringing my dogin my bed because he was big, and would bite any burglars trying to break in!

all things come to an end, so new things may begin.

that's the way I'm going to look at it.


I'm not really sure why I thought it was so hilarious to dress him up. But there I am.. around 12 years old, making him wear a cowboy hat. I probably would've bit me if I were him.

My apologies for the depressing blog! There will be no more, I promise! :)


  1. awww I totally cried reading this!It sucks losing a member of the family

  2. I know how that is..I lost a dog last may..
    So sorry for the loss. Absolutely love the blog and your vintage fashion. Absolutely love it!

    xoxo Tiffany Noelle

  3. I'm so sorry for your loss and know how very hard it is. I've had two wonderful cats die in the last several years and I still miss them terribly, but know they are with me in spirit. They really are like family. No, they ARE family.

    Diana Horel

  4. Oh Hon... so sorry for your loss! I am coming across this a bit late, but my condolences just the same.

    What they say is so true about our pets leaving pawprints on our heart.

    I had to laugh at the pics of you dressing him up- as I remember doing the same with my baby as well. So silly! :)

    Crafty Chick's Retro Fantasy